Empty Nests and Endless Possibilities
Episode #157: Sweetheart Slaw, Biological Voltage and My Fondness for Fisticuffs
This week, my daughter took a long walk inside a college basketball stadium.
They read her name, she fist-bumped some people, took a thing and returned to her seat.
She showed up on the Jumbotron, actual musicians played “Pomp and Circumstance,” and the whole thing streamed live on YouTube.
It felt like a much bigger deal than my high school graduation.
I remember sitting in a folding chair on the football field. It was windy and I wore a billowy, powder blue, acetate gown.
They called my name, I shook a hand, took a thing and returned to my seat.
After the ceremony, I remember jumping into a friend’s Saab, cranking up “Master of Puppets” by Metallica and feeling like anything was possible.
Back then, I saw the future as some kind of psychedelic Dr. Seussian pop-up book full of guideposts, undulating roads, and a million mystery doors waiting to be opened.
Decades later, I just want my neck not to hurt.
I want the squirrels to stop chewing my irrigation lines.
But that’s me. She is not me. She is infinitely smarter and better looking.
For her, this is the start of the rest of her life. This is the moment when she shimmies into the cannon, pats her sparkly helmet and slides backwards into the barrel.
The fuse is lit and she’s ready to fly.
For us, it means something else.
Her graduation marks our retirement as full-time parents.
We’re going to be empty nesters soon.
That’s what they call you when all of your children get older and move away and you’re left alone at home.
Empty nesters.
Like we’re two adult birds sitting in a bowl made of twigs with no eggs.
No gaping mouths to feed. No awkward baby chicks who don’t know shit.
With our child-rearing mission accomplished, it’s time to reap the sweet rewards.
Unlimited use of the laundry machines.
Nobody to bogart my almond milk.
The freedom to use the bathroom with the door open.
Sure, there’s sadness. Of course we’ll miss her. We’ll mourn the loss of our daily routines. There will be tears and bouts of profound loneliness.
But that is the nature of change. Time is a river, forever moving us forward.
She’s going out into the world to seize opportunities. We’re staying home to figure out what comes next.
Building a second act is exciting. We’ve talked about traveling, leaning into our hobbies or finding a new sense of purpose by serving others.
Decades later, it feels like I’ve been given a second chance at choosing a future. All roads are open again. Anything is possible.
But honestly, the idea of a forging a new path or opening a million doors to a million new opportunities sounds exhausting.
That’s why, lately, when people ask, “What are you going to do with all your free time?”
I say drugs, lots and lots of drugs.
They laugh, but then it gets awkward when I don’t smile even a little bit.
Episode #157 Playlist
1. “Suburban Sweetheart” - Josh Rouse
You never forget your first suburban sweetheart. Mine was named Vivian and she kept house like a goddamn queen. We met at the cul-de-sac barbecue. She had me at broccoli slaw.
2. “Electricity (Drugs) - Live at the Agora, Cleveland” - Talking Heads
One day, we’ll figure out how to tap into the electrical current in the human body to recharge our cars or power our homes. At the very least, by 2030, we should be able to hardwire our central nervous system to keep our toothbrushes juiced.
3. “Left Right” - xiao xiao
Is it wrong that I love songs about violence? Specifically punching? Look, I’m not proud of it. But I’m also not not proud. Pa-POW! Two for flinching!
4. “30 Groove St.” - Nightmares on Wax, Jordan Stephens
I don’t care if you listen to this song while using marijuana, that’s your business. But if you play it while emptying the dishwasher, that seems like a waste of a perfectly stanky fresh dope jam.
5. “The Showman” - Bono, U2
Wow! This guy has a great voice and I think he’s going places. Keep your eye on him!
Listen here…
Happy Birthday!
“I am not the least bit surprised that injustice persists. I'm also not surprised that resistance to injustice persists.” - Tom Morello (Born May 30, 1964)
Have fun. Stay safe. Don’t be a jerk.
Sincerely, DJ CrankyPete