Five Song Friday: Don't Rock the Gravy Boat
This Week: Killer Kiwis, British Bastards and My Cincinnati Crush
I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to hold elections a few weeks before Thanksgiving.
Because it absolutely wasn’t.
Our country has never been more divided. Tension is high. Paranoia runs deep.
At the beginning of the month, we held our breath wondering if this election cycle was going to be the spark that ignited this pile of oily rags we call democracy.
We wondered, is this it? Can America be canceled as abruptly as Westworld?
Will this be the year that we get TWO sequels nobody asked for? The Civil War AND Avatar: The Way of Water?
Will Steve Kornacki get a wild look in his eyes and just scrawl “GAME OVER” on his big map?
Turns out, no. Just another swing of the pendulum.
The catastrophic collapse of our union has been temporarily postponed.
But election season was not without its drama. And now we all have to sit at the same dinner table and pretend that part of life doesn’t exist.
It’s a hard rule that you don’t talk politics over turkey. Or Tofurkey. Or whatever.
We just don’t do it.
We have to focus conversation on the casseroles and the sweet potato pie because if we slip up and say something that even SOUNDS like “Pelosi,” weird cousin Keith will jam a fork into our neck.
We can’t share videos of Herschel Walker talking about werewolves and vampires.
We can’t use the T-word or the D-word or say the letters A, O and C in a row.
And we have to speak clearly, because if we mumble “Please pass the green beans,” someone over 75 could hear “Hooray for abortion!”
No matter where you live, Thanksgiving dinner dress codes this year are the same as they were in 1980s Los Angeles.
Wear whatever you want, but if you show up in red or blue? You best be ready to throw down.
I’m not happy about it.
I miss the old days when adults could engage in healthy debate and chain-smoke unfiltered cigarettes like it was their job. It used to be that we could yell and laugh and curse and end the night in tears like a normal family.
I’m sad that so many topics are off the table, yet pickled beets get to stay on the table.
It seems unfair.
Maybe I’m just being selfish because all of my best material is based on current events.
If politics is off-limits, that means I can’t do my bit about how when Ron DeSantis says Florida is “where WOKE goes to die,” he sounds like a commercial spokesman for a mattress store.
Everybody will miss out on my hilarious impression of Steny Hoyer eating ribs.
And those 30 hours I spent in a walk-in freezer sculpting Mitch McConnell out of butter? Basically wasted.
I suppose I could melt it down and we could use it for baked potatoes or whatever. It was probably too big (and too naked) to be a centerpiece anyway.
Maybe things will be different next year.
At least we still have gravy.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
Sincerely,
DJ CrankyPete
Five Song Friday 039
“Anything Could Happen” - The Clean
The Clean were New Zealand punk pioneers in the 1970s. Their music influenced bands like Guided By Voices, Sonic Youth and Pavement. If you like those bands, you’re probably thinking, “Thanks fellas!” But if you hate those bands, you probably wish The Clean had just kept to themselves and raised sheep or whatever.
But they didn’t didn’t raise sheep. They rock and rolled their way right into the New Zealand Music Hall of Fame. Yes indeed, the band was inducted back in 2017 alongside legendary groups like The Chicks, Th’ Dudes, Herbs, Dragon and Hello Sailor.
If you think I name-dropped those bands because they’re funny-sounding and obscure, you’re right. But even though I referenced them with a dash of sarcasm, I’m not being trying to be mean. I’m absolutely going to give them a listen.
Update: They are awesome and now I feel bad for something but I’m not sure what.
“Baby Drummer” - Bad Nerves
Hey ho! These punk rock lads from East London have been described as “the bastard child of the Ramones and The Strokes.” Which is very confusing because those bands are made up of men who cannot biologically produce ANY child, let alone a bastard one.
I suppose who ever said that was just making a comment on the way the band SOUNDS and not talking about the actual genetic lineage of the Bad Nerves.
Technically, a “bastard” is a child raised without parents. If Bad Nerves was the bastard child of those two bands, they would have 13 fathers (if you include all former members of the Ramones). Sure, they would be 13 single fathers in tight jeans who stay up late and drink alcohol, but they would still be parents.
Would it be a typical family? No. Would it be a family full of good times, laughter and the occasional, mildly amusing miscommunication? Sure. Could they be a big family band who travel the country in a double decker bus and also solve mysteries?
Now you’re talking!
“I Like the Way This Is Going” - Eels
The world is so full of overwrought and hyperbolic love songs, it’s a special treat to find one that isn’t trying too hard.
This isn’t the song that plays while you hold your sweetie tight on the bow of a doomed luxury liner. This isn’t the song you play on a boombox held over your head outside your lover’s bedroom window.
This is the song you put on while you and your significant other are sitting on separate couches playing games on your phones.
When it’s over, they ask, “That was sweet. Who was that?”
And you say, “Eels.”
And they say, “Oh, I remember them.”
“OMG” - Sampa the Great
Sampa Tembo (aka Sampa the Great) is a Zambian singer, rapper and songwriter.
Sampa was born in Africa but grew up in Australia, so they like to claim her as their own. And just to make sure she knows how much they love her, the Australians have given her all kinds of awards for her songs, albums and videos.
Which honestly seems a little desperate.
“Rebirth of the Cool” - The Afghan Whigs
Full disclosure: I heart the Afghan Whigs.
This song is from the Cincinnati band’s 1992 EP Uptown Avondale which includes a bunch of great Motown covers worth checking out.
“Rebirth of the Cool” was included as a hidden track (which was a thing that sometimes happened on CDs) and is actually a remix of an earlier song called “Milez Is Ded,” which also appeared as hidden track on the 1992 album Congregation.
If the beat sounds familiar, it’s the same borrowed loop from Bobby Byrd’s “Hot Pants (Bonus Beats)” that The Stone Roses used on “Fools Gold.”
I didn’t mean to nerd out on details. I know I said I wouldn’t do that.
But love makes you do funny things sometimes.
Listen on Spotify
Listen on YouTube Music
That’s all for now. Thanks for reading!
“Virtually every writer I know would rather be a musician.” - Kurt Vonnegut