Listen to me and listen to me good: You got this.
Yes, things in the world are super cuckoo bananas right now.
But you’re a strong and resilient human being. You can handle anything.
I believe in you.
I get it. You heard the words “Russia” and “nuclear” on 60 Minutes last week and you’re still freaked out.
The economy sucks. Politics is a parade of fascists and morons. And the new Fletch movie stole 90 minutes of your life that you will never, ever get back.
You’re scared and anxious and angry. That’s normal.
Just breathe and redirect your mind inward. Picture a happy place from your past (like your grandparent’s house or the bar from Cheers) and go there in your imagination.
If that doesn’t work, just eat a cookie and pour yourself a bucket of whiskey.
Remember: YOU control your thoughts. Your thoughts don’t control you.
You’d be surprised how easy it is to trick your own mind into ignoring the bad stuff and looking on the bright side.
Even in the face of what seems like a tragedy, you can bend the will of your dumb brain to be happy.
Take the guy in Florida who lost everything in Hurricane Ian. He’s trying to salvage what’s left of his home from under a pile of yachts and dinghys that are stacked three stories tall like firewood.
What does he think about to manage a smile?
Free boats!
When it comes to our mental health, we are what we eat.
So stop eating all that bad news.
Stop doom-scrolling Twitter and keeping CNN on in the background. Maybe don’t wake up to BBC News on the radio and deactivate those Apple News alerts.
You can’t control what happens in the Ukraine or Iran or Venezuela.
These things too shall pass.
Or… maybe they won’t.
There’s always the possibility that things go downhill fast.
You know the CIA has a whole binder full of “Doomsday Scenarios,” ready to be triggered by some despot who wakes up and just doesn’t give a shit anymore.
All it takes is one lunatic with a match to light the fuse.
One drunk idiot to face-plant into the coffee table and topple this teetering Jenga tower we call civilization.
And just like that, it’s all over.
Then all we can do is hug and shrug and say “Oh well, we tried.”
So you might as well listen to music in the meantime.
Enjoy the playlist and thanks for reading.
Sincerely,
DJ CrankyPete
Five Song Friday 032
“Glory” - You Say Party! We Say Die!
Disclaimer: This is not a song about the 1989 film starring Denzel Washington and Matthew Broderick. This has nothing to do with the Civil War or the deep bonds formed between men in battle.
I think this is about sex, drugs and maybe something about walking on the beach. I’ve read the lyrics and still have no idea.
I also got distracted by finding out that the drummer collapsed on stage and died of complications from a brain hemorrhage in 2010.
Not long after that, they dropped the “We Say Die!” from their name out of respect for their fallen bandmate.
So yeah… that’s a bummer.
[awkward silence]
“Sometimes” - Gerry Cinnamon
Sometimes it takes one Scottish musician to remind you that you don’t know everything. Or everyone.
This song made its way into my earhole not long ago and I was pleased. What a fine little tune, I thought to myself. From an obscure little artist.
Turns out (spoiler alert), I’m a moron. Gerry Cinnamon has an army of fans around the world and this “fine little tune” has been played over 84 million times on Spotify.
So there. In my face. Suck it, me.
Also? Just confirmed that he was never part of a 90s pop group called The Spice Boys with Mel Basil, Roy Cardamom, Johnny Nutmeg and Tony “T-Bag” Turmeric.
I got that 100% wrong. Please accept my apologies.
“Beaches” - Black Honey
Unlike “Glory,” this song IS about a movie from the late eighties. Specifically, the 1988 feel-bad drama of the same name starring Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey.
You remember Beaches, that’s the one where two BFFs are all happy and laughing until one of them gets cancer and DIES.
This four-piece indie rock outfit from England was so moved by the Garry Marshall dramedy that they made this song.
It’s not referenced at all in the actual lyrics and if you ask the band, they’ll deny it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
“Eulogy for You and Me” - Tanya Davis
What an odd, sweet and sad song. It’s vulnerable and honest, like a page torn from a diary after a breakup.
It reminds me of a box of kittens you might see in front of a grocery store. The sign says “FREE KITTENS” and you peek inside and they are all mewling and fluffy. You feel a pang of longing inside your heart muscle and picture yourself snuggled up by a fire with this pile of pure ADORBS.
Then you remember you’re allergic and also that cats poop in a box that is kept inside your house and that’s just gross.
“Alan Is a Cowboy Killer” - Mclusky
I love this song so much that it’s stupid.
It’s not that I wish cowboys any ill, despite my previous whining about country music. Cowboys are cool I guess. I got no beef with cowboys.
But this guy Alan really hates them, which leads me to believe that he went through some sort of cowboy-adjacent trauma in his past.
What would it take for an otherwise normal boy to snap and become a mass murderer of cattle-rustling, rodeo-riding gentlemen?
It was probably something bad that involved chaps.
Listen on Spotify
Listen on YouTube Music
That’s all for now. Thanks for reading!
“Virtually every writer I know would rather be a musician.” - Kurt Vonnegut