Five Song Friday: Junk Food Art Machine
Episode #115: British Basements, Old-Fashioned Neckwear and Cosmic Flora
I have a serious question about AI armageddon.
Is it possible that instead of destroying humanity with a torrent of nuclear missiles, the smartest machines on Earth will slowly choke us out with crappy art?
My hot take is that we’re in the midst of a Creative Robot Renaissance.
Computers are flooding this world with artificially intelligent (and genuinely awful) images.
It is a deluge of dead-eyed, seven-fingered freaks. Uncanny valley girls and glitchy glossy guys. Images that look almost right but still feel somehow… wrong.
AI is striking legitimate fear in the hearts of illustrators, stock photographers and creators of all stripes.
And much like the naked beefcake killing machine from 1984, an AI artist “can’t be bargained with… can’t be reasoned with… doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop.”
But as scary as it can be to some, there is equal appeal for others.
I’m totally guilty of falling for the honey trap.
I love my Junk Food Art Machine.
I’ve been feeding it quarters and pulling its handle for years.
Right now, there are THOUSANDS of images in my Google Photos library looking back at me with lazy eyes and misshapen heads wondering what I’m going to do with them next.
Great question.
Because as much as I love them in their sometimes hilarious and batshit crazy brilliance, I am conflicted.
Am I part of the problem? Or am I just an open-minded artist embracing the inevitable future of human creativity?
Also great questions.
Look, there are people in this world who are deeply troubled that AI and Art are holding hands.
When AI and Art smooch and fondle each other, those people get angry.
And when AI and Art slink away to the closet for seven minutes of heaven?
They lose their goddamn minds.
They say, “Those two have no business being together!”
“This is not how creativity is supposed to work!”
“Their children will be monsters!”
They feel that art should be touched by angels. Ignited by divine fires that spark from the fingertips of gifted and talented human beings.
They believe that the only good creative expression is one that comes after hard work. Honed by years of practice and craftsmanship sharpened by experience.
REAL art cannot be created by simply pressing a button.
REAL art is not made by typing in a prompt and simply seeing what comes out.
If you do things that way, you end up with something empty. At best, it’s seen as soulless fakery or a flashy parlor trick.
At worst, it’s considered cheating or theft.
REAL artists get six pack abs by doing a million sit ups.
Fakers get their butt fat sucked out, shot into their stomachs and sculpted into sexy speed bumps.
REAL artists learn about color and composition.
Fakers have filters and digital magic wands.
You get the idea. We could go back and forth on this forever.
But these tools aren’t going away. In fact, they’re getting better every day.
And by “better,” I mean faster, smarter and able to blur the lines between humanity and binary code.
I don’t mean higher quality. I don’t mean higher art.
Today, you can ask ChatGPT to write you a short story about alien abduction.
You can ask Udio to make you a techno jam with hints of French house and hyperpop.
You can have Sora generate a video short about zombie penguins.
Will they be great? Probably not.
Could they be great? Sure.
Billions of people consider themselves “artists” of some kind.
If you like lining things up to see how many times they can circle the planet, you could make more than a few rounds with all the paintbrushes, guitars and unpublished manuscripts on Earth.
AI doesn’t have exclusive rights to making bad art.
You can carve a giant turd from the finest Italian marble with the most expensive tools. You can ruin a canvas by painting any kind of cat.
You can record “Dude Looks Like a Lady.”
Art by nature is sloppy, unpredictable and subjective.
And often the biggest, boldest and weirdest ideas struggle to be taken seriously.
History’s most radical art movements were mocked and bullied and pushed backwards down the stairs.
Abstract expressionism. Pop art. The Tom Green Show.
People hated them just as much as they hate AI-generated art today.
But those movements had the patience to wait around until we realized we were wrong.
You may hate AI art today. You’ll probably hate it tomorrow.
But keep in mind that one day you might find yourself at the Louvre, waiting hours in line to stand face-to-face with “Cheeseburger on the Beach.”
Five Song Friday #115
“The Gem” - Black Pepper, Hypeman Sage
“In the heart of my soul / I am taking you below / into what you have never seen before”
I know this sounds creepy when you read it out of context, but it’s all good. These guys are from England and that’s just how they talk.
“Real Big Hitter” - Getdown Services
“I wish I wore a tie for a living / I’ll just get by for a living”
Remember ties? They were so fun!
“Buy Buy” - ONETWOTHREE
“Give us flowers from outer space / We want flowers from outer space”
I understand what you’re asking for, but you also need to understand that it is an impossible request. Unless you are talking figuratively, in which case, I am also deeply confused.
“99 cent Store” - hellacello
“Blood pressure / heart attack / Jimmy cracked corn no more sugar / no more Jack in the Box / only happy thoughts”
I applaud your newfound commitment to a healthier lifestyle.
“Play That Song” - Connie Price & The Keystones, The Pharcyde
“Let’s have some fun / Get on down and enjoy yourself”
If I understand you correctly, you are suggesting that I dance?
“Don’t let your demon shoot down your rock music, don’t let your demon keep you off the joy bus.” - Wesley Willis (Born May 31, 1963)
Thanks for reading!
Sincerely,
DJ CrankyPete