Five Song Friday: Keep Your Feet to Yourself
This Week: Canceled Flights, Bolo Ties and Indie Earworms
I blame Delta.
It’s their fault that I have to write this in an airport.
But if you asked Delta, they would blame the bird that hit their plane, which left a dent just above the windshield that was big enough to ground the flight, forcing an aircraft swap that would leave several dozen of us sitting around the terminal with nothing to do but wait.
Except that some of us have something to do, so now we have to do it in uncomfortable chairs, in the middle of constant noise and a steady parade of human beings.
If you asked the bird (now deceased), he would also blame Delta, specifically their Airbus A321 that came screaming through the clouds out of nowhere and turned a perfectly delightful Wednesday afternoon into a violently fatal physics demonstration.
But assigning blame isn’t going to help me now. Pointing fingers is pointless.
I have to focus on writing.
But putting words in order is hard. Watching (and judging) people is much easier.
So while the cursor on my blank laptop screen blinks to the beat in my headphones, my eyes wander.
It’s like Dante’s 10th Circle of Hell with Crocs.
I see people wearing slippers and blankets and neck pillows and (what appear to be) sleeping caps. I see people who look like they forgot to get fully dressed and others who have opted to wear their entire wardrobe at once.
I see business suits and sweat pants. Cargo shorts and yoga pants. Combat boots and sneakers. T-shirts and ball caps and backpacks.
But mostly, I see strange toes. So many naked, wriggly little piggies hanging out of flip-flops and sandals.
I do not like strange toes.
That’s something I decided a long time ago and I’m sticking to it.
If I ran the airport, the rules would change immediately.
Liquids of all sizes would be welcome on board. Airlines would have to keep the center seats empty. All checked bags would be free.
But the shape and condition of your toenails would forever remain a mystery because covered shoes would be mandatory.
Accidentally wore sandals to the airport? No problem. We have loaner loafers. Or grab some crime scene booties. Maybe pick a pair from our conveniently located giant bins of used bowling shoes.
You think that’s gross and unappealing? I feel exactly the same way about that weird little toe on your left foot.
I didn’t ask to see it. Now whenever I close my eyes, it’s there.
Keep your feet to yourself, I have plenty of my own nightmares.
Thanks for reading.
Please enjoy the music.
Sincerely,
DJ CrankyPete
Five Song Friday 025
“Superlungs My Supergirl” - Terry Reid
If you like Led Zeppelin, you can thank Terry Reid.
If you hate Led Zeppelin, he’s also the guy to blame.
Way back in 1968, former Yardbirds guitarist Jimmy Page approached Reid about becoming the vocalist for his new project. But Reid had already booked himself as the opening act on upcoming tours for the Rolling Stones and Cream.
Reid recommended another guy named Robert Plant, who had a group called Band of Joy. He mentioned that they also had a decent drummer named John Bonham. Finally, Reid proposed the name “Fancy Dancing Boys” and suggested Page’s new group lean heavily into jumpsuits and choreography.
Page took most of Reid’s advice and rock history was made!
This version of a Donovan song appeared on Reid’s 1969 self-titled second album.
“What We All Want” - The Dandy Warhols, Gang of Four
This song is part of a tribute/collaboration album called The Problem of Leisure: A Celebration of Andy Gill and Gang of Four that came out in 2021.
Andy Gill, founding member and lead guitarist for the legendary post punk band passed away in February of 2020.
This version by the Dandy Warhols is more remix than pure cover, with some added bounce and beats (provided free of charge).
“Hot Slick” - PINS
The title song from the 2020 album Hot Slick by PINS sounds like a blend of Blondie and industrial dance punk with a sheen of pop-synth polish. Donna Summer meets “Ghost Rider” by Suicide.
You can dance to it, you can drive to it or you could just sit there and think about what you’ve done.
Sure, you say you’re sorry. But are you REALLY sorry?
“Texas” - Fat Tony
Houston rapper Fat Tony drops a lot of Texas references in this quirky 2-minute song, but it doesn’t come off as a tune that the Lone Star state’s tourism board will be using in commercials anytime soon.
Selena. South by Southwest. ZZ Top. The NRA. Big belts. Bolo ties.
It’s all there, but the funky cowboy music breaks and the occasional “giddy up” sound like he may be poking a little bit of fun at his home state and throwing some rap shade. All the signs say “Don’t Mess with Texas,” but Fat Tony ain’t scared.
Something tells me that Texas can take it.
“NY Lady” - Greenskeepers
If you’ve never heard of the Chicago band Greenskeepers, allow me to make a formal introduction.
[You] meet the Greenskeepers.
Greenskeepers, this is [You].
Led by James Curd, the band has released several albums of pop weirdness with a respectable collection of classic indie earworms like “Lotion,” “We Are Doing It” and “Live Like You Wanna Live.”
This track from their 2006 double album Polo Club keeps true to Curd’s roots and talents as a DJ and producer with a sound that can move bum-bums even if those bum-bums don’t want to be moved.
Listen on Spotify
Listen on YouTube Music
That’s all for now.
Thanks for reading!
“Virtually every writer I know would rather be a musician.” - Kurt Vonnegut