Five Song Friday: Laugh, Cry, Repeat
This Week: Hoisting Humans, Quiet Time and Bomb Balms
I wish funerals were funnier.
People would be genuinely excited to attend if there were more jokes.
Whoopee cushions hidden in the pews.
Kazoos and slide whistles for every mourner.
Immediate family in the front row wearing plastic ponchos to protect them from hammer-smashed watermelon bits.
But as it stands, the standard farewell ceremony is mostly crying and hugging and listening to a steady line of character witnesses make the case that the dearly departed was a lovely, lovely person.
It can get downright depressing.
Speaking of downright depressing, I was big-time bummed out by the recent passing of Paul Reubens, aka Pee Wee Herman.
As a Gen-X dork of a certain age, Pee Wee was my man.
His HBO special blew my mind and I consider his first movie a masterpiece.
To this day, my wife and I cannot utter the phrase “I say…” without one of us chiming in with “we let him go.”
I loved him. He made me laugh.
I bet his funeral will be hilarious.
But his death got me thinking…
If the Grim Reaper can take Pee Wee Herman, what chance do the rest of us have?
The answer, of course, is none.
We’re all waiting in the DMV lobby of life and one day, our number WILL be called.
“You want to renew those vanity plates? Sorry BEEMR69, the only thing Window 7 is now serving is eternal damnation.”
Maybe life is more like an amusement park.
It’s super fun and exciting when you’re young. There is so much to see and do that you SPRINT from one amazing thing to the next!
As you get older, you spend more time looking for a bench and complaining about all the ways that the park is trying to take your money.
Most of “life” is spent standing around in long lines, waiting for our turn on “rides” that provide short bursts of intense action.
Some people are thrilled and others are terrified.
Vomiting is fairly common.
The hours become days and months then years. You wear a funny hat, take some silly pictures… and then you die.
That’s life.
If you’re lucky, you get to check out after sucking all the fun out of that park.
You get to ride all the rides, see all the shows and eat all the terrible food.
Then, when you see the Grim Reaper sitting on the hood of your car in the parking lot, you think, “Thank God, I’m exhausted. It’s about time.”
But some people don’t get to make it all the way to the parking lot.
Some get pitched off a roller coaster or choke on a corn dog.
Some are murdered by a stranger dressed as a cartoon mouse.
There is no rhyme or reason. Nothing is fair.
That is also life.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not prepared for the end.
Sure, I talk about Swedish death cleaning sometimes.
And making a list of my passwords and secret hiding places has a permanent slot on my To-Do list.
Hell, I’m even wearing a rubber bracelet emblazoned with “Memento Mori” (“Remember You Die”) and “Amor Fati” (“Love Fate”) but it’s hard to read when buried under the Johnny Depp, jingle-jangle bangle bedlam on my wrists.
I haven’t completely made peace with my own temporary-ness.
Death only seems to cross my mind when it happens to other people.
Or when I look in the mirror.
Especially since the gray in my beard is winning the war and my face fur should go full Kenny Rogers by this time next year.
And there are two ways of looking at that.
I can shake my fist and call time a relentless, cruel bastard, or I can be grateful that I get to see myself grow older.
It beats the alternative which is being dust, feeling nothing and floating in cold blackness for eternity.
Waking up to my dumb face in the mirror is a privilege that I will appreciate as long as I can.
And every time I say out loud, “Damn, you are an old man.”
I’ll be sure to follow up, in a goofy voice, with…
“I know you are, but what am I?”
Sincerely,
DJ CrankyPete
Five Song Friday 075
“Carry Me” - Crooks & Nannies
Sometimes I wish I was easier to pick up. But I’m kind of a big dude and it would take a very strong person to hoist me up. It doesn’t have to be a baby cradle kind of deal. I’d settle for an awkward fireman’s carry. I just want my feet to leave the ground.
“Sandra (When the Earth Dies)” - White Fence
If you’re looking for a pick-me-up song to help motivate you as you do the dishes, this is not the song you’re looking for. But if you like organ music and your name is Sandra? You’re welcome!
“2nd Avenue” - The Movers
I love lyrics, but sometimes it’s nice to give the words a break and let the sounds of the instruments fill the silent void. [harp sounds, cymbals, hi-hat]
“I Know” - Isaac Birituro & The Rail Abandon, Wiyaala
Isaac Birituro is a Ghanaian xylophone master. You might even say he’s the best Ghanaian xylophone player who ever lived. Which is a title that he will probably hold on to for a good long while.
“Always Alright (Live at KCRW)” - Alabama Shakes
If there is anything close to a miracle cure-all for everything that can vex you, it is the sound of Brittany Howard’s voice. This live version proves beyond a doubt that her soothing soulful singing is the bomb balm that humanity desperately needs right now.
“I don’t make monkeys, I train them.” - Pee Wee Herman