Five Song Friday: Let's Call It a Day
This Week: Night Crawlers, BFFs and Caffeine Tweakers
I will NOT be celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day this year.
Today will be an ordinary Friday.
A dull 24-hour bridge from Thursday to Saturday with zero significance and not a whiff of import.
There will be no Top O’ the anything at my house.
No wearing green or pouring Guinness on me Lucky Charms.
No corned beef. No cabbage. Zero potatoes.
Singing of shanties, reciting of limericks and dancing of jigs will not be permitted.
My grand Irish holiday is hereby canceled like a Hitler-loving hip-hopper.
Think I’m kidding?
Here’s how much I’m not:
If Mister Van Morrison rang my doorbell to tell me I won the Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes? I’d tell him to go get stuffed.
If Colin Farrell brought me an edible bouquet? I’d say thank you for the fruit, I enjoyed you in the donkey movie and you have lovely eyes sir, but kindly feck off.
Bono, disguised as elevator repairmen, trying to con his way inside so he can serenade me in my living room? Nice try numb nuts… we only have escalators in this house.
There will be no celebrating of “Lá Fhéile Pádraig” for me in 2023.
No Shamrock the block. No Saint Patty parades. No getting Blarney Stoned and binge watching all eight Leprechaun movies.
To be clear, I’ve got nothing against the Irish.
There are plenty of things I love about the Emerald Isle.
Sinead O’Connor’s first album. The Edge’s hat collection. Darby O’Gill.
This isn’t about Ireland at all. It’s just bad timing.
I’m done with holidays of any kind.
I know it’s only mid-March, but the last two and a half months have been BRUTAL.
The year started off easy enough with New Year’s Day (Jan 1) and Festival of Sleep Day (Jan 3).
Things were humming along for Word Nerd Day (Jan 9), Marzipan Day (Jan 12) and Squirrel Appreciation Day (Jan 21).
But then everything fell apart.
What genius put Opposite Day (Jan 25) and Spouse’s Day (Jan 26) back to back?
And who thought normal people could handle Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day, Thank Your Mailman Day and Create a Vacuum Day all on the same Saturday (Feb 4)?
By the time Valentine’s Day (Feb 14), Tortilla Chip Day (Feb 24) and Dentist’s Day (March 6) rolled around, I was exhausted and on the ropes.
The one-two knockout punch came on Wednesday and Thursday this week with Everything You Think Is Wrong Day (March 15) and Everything You Do Is Right Day (March 16).
I went to bed last night thinking, I’m DONE. No more.
This world has too many holidays. Every date doesn’t need a trophy.
The madness needs to end at some point.
Unfortunately for Saint Patrick, that point for me is right now.
I’m tapping out. Packing it in.
Apologies to all who plan to Riverdance like nobody’s watching tonight.
Enjoy your whiskey and Celtic flute music.
Have fun, stay safe and give my regards to Conor McGregor.
Sincerely,
DJ CrankyPete
Five Song Friday 056
“How Did This Happen?!” - BODEGA
I’ll tell you how this happened. The members of BODEGA met at art school and decided over a few beers that they should make sweet, sweet post-punk music together. The next thing you know, they became a bonafide NYC art-rock band. They were on the tippy top of the musical world.
But then one of them got bit by a vampire after staying out too late at a rave club in Brooklyn. He came back and infected everyone at band practice and now they are all basically bloodsucking freaks who never grow old and will never die. I know it sounds cool and romantic, but sometimes they wish they were just normal human beings again. Many of them miss the feel of warm sunshine. Sad!
“O.Y.B. (Oh Yeah Baby)” - The Good Husbands
What is there to say about this catchy-as-HAIL number from Seattle hip-hop trio The Good Husbands? Nothing. Sometimes it’s just better to shut up and let the song say what it needs to say. In this case, sometimes the song says “diggy dang-de-dang-dang” and “ohh yeah bay-bay.” Is that enough? Absolutely. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that those two phrases are all you ever need to say to succeed in work, life and marriage. Feel free to use them during very important business meetings and whenever your spouse tries to talk seriously about money or yard work.
“These Are the Quotes from Our Favorite 80’s Movies ” - The Bouncing Souls
Hey guys, you already had me at “80’s movies.” Then you quote Better Off Dead AND Some Kind of Wonderful? AND you use actual movie dialogue from Valley Girl and Say Anything? I’m fully aware that we are strangers, but today I consider us best friends now and forever. I’ll give you time to respond, but in the meantime I’m going to go ahead and make us all bracelets.
“Old Man” - Masta Killa, Ol’ Dirty Bastard, RZA
Here’s a true story about when I started drinking coffee as a 15-year-old busboy. One of the other dish jockeys said that caffeine would put some pep in my step. So I filled a big styrofoam cup with coffee and tons of cream and sugar and chugged it down like Popeye shotgunning a can of cartoon spinach. Of course it worked and the buzz sent me James-Brown-hot-pants-dance-walking through the dining room. On nights when the restaurant got busy and everything was moving crazy fast like the helicopter scene in Goodfellas, for some reason I would hum the music from Sanford & Son. It became my caffeine tweaker theme song. Today, I have to drink 12 cups before coffee has any effect, but this funky old ditty still gets me twitching.
“Traveling” - Hallo Venray
You’ve probably never heard of the Dutch rock band, Hallo Venray. But that’s okay because they probably never heard of you either.
Listen on Spotify
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That’s all for now. Thanks for reading!
“Music is nothing else but wild sounds civilized into time and tune.” ― Thomas Fuller