Five Song Friday: Slang Mentality
Episode #134: Little Horses, Lotion Baskets and Tight Bike Pants
I literally don’t understand what young people are saying anymore.
And I’m not alone.
A recent study I made up said 98% of adult humans have no idea what language American kids born in the 21st century are speaking.
We handed them a pretty dope world with electric scooters and fancy coffee. They’ve never known a planet without the internet and positive gay role models on television.
We raised them on podcasts, high-fructose corn syrup and really great CGI in movies, but they’ve still forsaken us. They turned their backs on tradition, convention and the Oxford dictionary.
They’ve replaced our beloved vocabulary with gibberish.
There are a million perfectly good, actual words that we passed down to them, but they said no thanks, we’re good.
We’re going to just mash up letters and invent acronyms and mumble random mouth noise so that when we talk to you, it feels like you’re having a stroke.
Not cool, guys.
I’m done feeling confused and excluded.
I’m sick and tired of the division.
I want us to understand each other again.
That’s why I did the hard work of compiling a list of current slang and translating it for normal grown folks.
Save it. Study it. Share it with anyone you know over 40.
My hope is that we can break their code and bridge this generation gap once and for all. I want this list to be a tool for peace and understanding.
My only ask is that you not tell them where you got it.
They scare me.
My worst nightmare is to be confronted (and judged) by a pack of surly teens. Some nights I wake in a cold sweat thinking of them mocking me with their great fashion sense, impressive self-confidence and arsenal of nonsense words.
My advice is to copy it to a Word document and keep it on your computer in a folder labeled “Colonoscopy Videos” or “Civil War Screenplay Ideas.”
Or print it out on paper and keep it between the pages of any book about George W. Bush, furniture making or birds.
Whatever you do, just leave me out of it.
30 Slang Words, Phrases and Acronyms You Should Know Right Now
Bae – A significant other
“I am currently seeing a young gentleman. He is my bae.”
Basic – Necessary for human survival
“That guy is so basic. I cannot live without him.”
BBG – Short for BB gun.
“We are going out to engage in dangerous mischief. Don’t forget your BBG.”
Boo – A ghost boyfriend or girlfriend
“I do too have a boo. She lives in Canada. She died of consumption in 1897.”
Boo’d up – When you are in a serious relationship with a ghost
“Man that haunted house party was fun! I met someone and am now boo’d up.”
Bussin’ – Preferring public transportation
“I don’t like driving, so I will be straight up bussin’ to the music concert.”
Cap – Telling the truth or lying, I can’t remember which
“When I asked if you were done with the sandwich, you said I could have it, no cap. Does that mean yes, I can have it? Or no, you’re still eating?”
Catch feels – Human contact in any form
“I’ve been on my phone so long that I have forgotten what it feels like to be alive. Do you mind if I catch feels and just touch your shoulder for a minute?”
Cheugy – Someone who enjoys gum.
“I’m worried about bad breath. Where is that cheugy? He will hook me up.”
Clapback – Reciprocating praise or applause
“Thank you for complimenting my ensemble. Allow me to clapback and say that your hair looks great.”
Cray - Insane or out of control
“Oh man, last night at the nightclub was so cray because of alcohol and lowered inhibitions!”
Cray cray – Seriously and dangerously unhinged
“I’m worried that your friend who ate my house plant may be cray cray.”
Cray cray cray - Call the police
“The couch is on fire! I can’t find my retainer! Who let the dogs out!? This situation is definitely cray cray cray!”
Drip – A visible stain on clothing, usually from condiments
“You’re sweater is drip. I think it’s honey mustard.”
Extra – Not included in the regular price
“That side of fries is so extra! And now that I think about it, I should have just ordered the combo meal.”
Finna – Completing a task
“I’m finna washing the dishes. Thank you for preparing a lovely meal and giving me a home and clothing and also medical care.”
Fire – The rapid oxidation of a material (the fuel) in the exothermic chemical process of combustion, releasing heat, light, and various reaction products
“That candle is so fire!”
FR – Short for “for real”
“Yes, that thing that sounds unbelievable really did happen. I’m being FR right now.”
FRFR – I’m seriously not kidding
“Dude, I’m telling you that she really asked about you. FRFR!”
FRFRFR - The sound a motorboat makes
“And then out of nowhere, this fishing boat comes flying past us like FRFRFFR!”
Giving me life – Making a human person via sexual reproduction
“Thank you mother and father for giving me life. You guys are the best!”
Here for this – Present and accounted for
“My teacher was taking attendance for the exam and when she called my name I was like, I am so here for this.”
Hits different – Change up one’s fighting style
“He used to throw wild haymakers, but now he hits different with more short jabs and combos to the body.”
Mid – Very cool, very hip and super stylish
“Dad, those cut-off cargo shorts are so mid.”
Netflix and chill – Secret code for hanging out and doing the sex (See also Max and relax, Hulu and hang loose, Paramount Plus and unwind or Amazon Prime and recline)
“Oh yes, I’m ready to make bad choices with a person who isn’t ready for intimacy. Let’s Netflix and chill!”
Only in Ohio – Midwestern and exceedingly friendly in nature
“I read a story online about this family who adopts three-legged dogs and donates all of their free time to help the unhoused. Only in Ohio!”
Skibidi Toilet – Forgoing the normal facilities
“I had to urinate so bad that I just Skibidi Toilet and peed in the bushes.”
Slay – to violently murder
“The crazed, machete maniac said his only mission in life was to find and slay young couples who enjoyed partaking in pre-marital relations.”
Touch grass – To mow the lawn, or any kind of yard work
“I can meet you at the beer drinking and vaping party after I clean my room and touch grass.”
Yeet – Undetermined meaning, likely an involuntary sound from a neurological anomaly
“Yeet! Yeet! Yeet! Yeet!” [falls through glass coffee table]
That’s all of them! Good luck! And you’re welcome!
Five Song Friday #134
“You’re So Pony” - Beth Thornley
I don’t know what “pony” means here and part of me wants to stay in the dark. There isn’t enough mystery in music anymore. All of the bad words are said, all of the things that used to make us blush are now played on the radio. I have acronyms in my head that I can never unlearn. So yes, there is a part of me that hopes and prays that this song is about nothing more than an adorable baby horse.
“Little Bastard” - Ass Ponys
Speaking of ponys… this classic nugget really brings me back to a time when MTV still played music videos and you could be sitting on your futon late at night after a long restaurant shift, drinking cheap beer and wondering what to do with your life when all of the sudden a quirky song with a silly video comes on and you forget for a few minutes that taking a semester off from college is okay and it doesn’t mean that you’re going to have to make martinis for old people for the rest of your life and you have talent and worth and goddamnit there is a light at the end of the tunnel because of songs like this!
“Lotion” - Greenskeepers
If you’ve been wondering why there haven’t been more songs about Silence of the Lambs, it’s because the Greenskeepers nailed it on their first try and it’s pointless for other bands to try and follow up.
“Bike Tights” - Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock
Yes, this song is ridiculous and maybe a little sexist and degrading, but it’s also a catchy and danceable lesser know track from the duo that brought us “It Takes Two.” So I think we can cut them some slack and chalk it up to those crazy 90s. It’s not like either of them are actively working to dismantle a woman’s reproductive rights.
“On Broadway” - George Benson
I apologize for the earworm chaos this song will likely bring to your weekend. The best advice I have is to do what I did and play it on repeat for 24 hours, dance like an idiot and sing out loud. You can try to resist, but it’s much more fun to surrender and worship at the altar of one the funkiest, freshest songs to ever exist.
“I’m the tower of power, too sweet to be sour. I’m funky like a monkey. Sky’s the limit and space is the place!” - Randy “Macho Man” Savage (Born November 15, 1952)
Thanks for reading!
Sincerely,
DJ CrankyPete
Today's post is giving me life. Thanks Cranky Pete!