Five Song Friday: The Power of Positivity
Episode #120: Husky Whites, Beady Blues and Moody Moods
You know what? I’m glad this happened today.
It’s okay. I’m okay. Everything is fine.
Your arrow went clean into my shoulder. No major arteries.
It’s not gushing like a horror movie. All good.
I’ll just pedal myself to the emergency room and they can snip off the pointy tip and pull out the shaft and I’ll have a great scar story.
Oh this? I was riding my bike near some woods and a hunter thought I was a deer and shot me with his enormous compound bow. Yeah, that’s what I thought too, but according to this fellow, some male deer are absolutely capable of riding a bicycle. And wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap. And talking loudly on an iPhone. Who knew? Nature is crazy.
Seriously, I’ll be fine. It could have been worse.
It’s partly my fault anyway. I was distracted on a call with my insurance company. And I shouldn’t have worn khaki shorts and a beige t-shirt. That’s a lot of tan.
I’m not really clear on why your deer stand is facing the bike path, but you’re right, I probably should have grabbed my orange safety vest.
Even if it is July and I’m sticking close to residential areas. That’s my bad.
What’s that? Oh, THIS? No, the black eye is from earlier.
These chipped front teeth and my Angelina Jolie bottom lip are from just now when you shot me and I fell face first off my bike. The shiner is a few hours old.
What happened? Well, some lady ran a red light and plowed into my car this morning. My hand was up near my face when the airbag went off so I basically knocked my own lights out. It’s funny because the police officer kept calling me Mike Tyson.
His jokes really helped lighten the mood.
And the woman seemed genuinely sorry. She said she was late for work and didn’t see the red light or my car.
It happens, right? Sometimes you just need to put on lipstick and there’s no time to pull over. I get it.
The cop was very understanding and gave her a ride to work while I waited for a tow truck. The funny thing is, before he left he filled out the report saying that I crashed into HER after punching myself in the face, which is NOT how things happened at all.
I tried to explain by pointing out the crushed-in SIDE of my car and maybe I got a little excited, so I totally understand why he pepper-sprayed me.
He was only trying to do his job and cops shouldn’t have to feel threatened by words and mild aggression. I raised my voice and used several F-bombs. He was well within his rights to temporarily blind me.
So that’s why it looks like I have been crying all day.
But I haven’t been crying. I’m fine now.
Look, it’s been nice talking with you, but things are starting to feel fuzzy and I think I should get back on my bike and get to that hospital.
I understand you don’t want to give me your name because you might get in trouble. Accidents happen. You seem like a decent guy.
But since they’re going to ask for some details, is that a ninja outfit that you’re wearing? With the hood and booties?
It’s a Shinobi Shozoku? SHOW-ZOH-KOO.
Okay, good to know.
Got it, thank you. Have a nice day!
Five Song Friday #120
“Born Too Late” - Werdperfect
My love of husky bearded white dudes who rap is well documented. It gives me hope that one day I might be so fly. One day I might catch the hip-hop bug and drop my own mad beats while slinging super dope rhymes. No dice yet, but in the meantime, I still got ears and Werdperfect has the skills to pay the bills.
“You Never Can Tell” - Theo Lawrence
There may be something to this whole theory about judging people by the color of their eyes. Forget about the content of their character. Forget about looking into their heart or their soul or their wallets or closets or web browser search histories. Everything you need to know about the inherent goodness of a human being can be gleaned from one look into their beady little blues, browns or greens. That, and of course, credit scores.
“Undumpable” - Moonchild Sanelly
I know you probably already listen to TONS of South African “future ghetto funk” but I figured a little more couldn’t hurt. You know what they say, you can never have enough South African “future ghetto funk.” Who do I mean by THEY? Only everyone.
“Spiky Boi” - Surprise Chef
Speaking of funk, these Australia boys have dubbed their songs as “moody shades of instrumental jazz-funk.” So if you’re in the mood for moody songs without words, your long desperate search is over.
“Indian Summer” - Beat Happening
What the world needs now is more early eighties lo-fi indie rock from Olympia Washington. And beers. Lots and lots of beers.
“You start out playing rock ‘n’ roll so you can have sex and do drugs. But you end up doing drugs so you can still play rock ‘n’ roll and have sex.” - Mick Jagger (Born July 26, 1943)
Thanks for reading!
Sincerely,
DJ CrankyPete