Five Song Friday: The Things I Carried
This Week: Amorous Clowns, Second-Chance Soul and Meatball Surprises
We spend our entire lives accumulating stuff.
But at some point, those things we surround ourselves with begin to smother and suffocate us. They crowd our space and clutter our minds.
That’s when you know it’s time to reconsider the relationship.
After moving my home office to a smaller space with less storage, it became clear that I’ve been carrying around a ton of extra weight for no good reason.
I found myself in a crowded room piled high with the boxes, bins and assorted piles of memorabilia and miscellany that I’ve carried for decades.
Instead of kicking the can, yet again, by relocating all of it to the attic or the basement, I decided to man up.
There wasn’t enough room in this house for the both of us.
But it wasn’t going to be easy.
You see, I’d already done the hard work of beating my hardcore collecting habit.
The gravitational pull that thrift stores and yard sales once had on me was gone.
I’d already sold off my childhood stashes of comic books and cards.
And all those overflowing bins of quirky toys and knick knacks that I accumulated to be the raw material of my Etsy side hustle art empire?
Returned to secondhand circulation.
What I was left with now was the really hard stuff. The stuff that survived cut after cut and cull after cull. The sticky icky stuff.
I asked myself some tough questions:
Why do I keep the things I keep?
Why do these things have so much power over me?
What is the current street value of The Terminator on Laserdisc?
I’ll answer in reverse order…
Right now, it looks like $14.99 (plus shipping).
Things have power because human beings give objects meaning with our absurd magical thinking and vivid imaginations.
And why do I keep the things I keep? That depends on which things you’re asking about.
If you’re talking about my Gadget Garbage?
That’s because as a member of Gen-X, I overvalue any kind of technology.
My collection of cables, connectors and power cords FEELS important.
These are things I’ve stockpiled for “SOME DAY,” that magical, hypothetical future moment when I am gloriously validated for my mild hoarding.
YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU’LL NEED IT.
ONE DAY YOU’LL THANK ME.
I’ve defended this stuff with a fervor that suggests I believe in a scenario where the only thing standing between my family and certain death will be a 6-inch RCA cable.
That’s a thing, right? You read about it all the time.
Group of terrorists burst into a home. Hold everybody hostage and demand a VGA-to-USB adaptor or a fistful of assorted flash drives.
You don’t want to be caught off guard.
In my mind, I’m not banking marginally useful home electronics accessories… I’m protecting my family.
I’m not a packrat, I’m a goddamn hero.
I have a completely different justification for my Egotistical Ephemera.
This is the stuff I keep because I believe it will provide valuable insight about me for my ancestors and the grief-wracked friends and family I leave behind.
Instead of being sad, they can simply peruse my library of journals and notebooks and boxes of assorted drawings that run the gamut from grade school sketch pads to stacks of meeting notes with tatted-up margins.
They will find comfort in sifting through my decades of doodles of bug-eyed weirdos and drooling idiots. It will be like a hug from the afterlife to keep them warm at night.
I’d be lying if I said the idea of my great-great-grandchildren dedicating a living room wall to my flaming skulls Post-It notes series didn’t bring a tear to my eye.
And let’s not forget the Sentimental Scraps.
Birthday cards. Ticket stubs. Souvenirs from the not-so-recently deceased.
Artwork and gifts from my kids are my Kryptonite.
If it’s decorated with macaroni, glitter and the word “DAD” scrawled in crayon like a serial killer? I’m powerless to let it go.
The hold these things have had on me is real. I’ve always felt that parting with them would unleash a flood of fantastical consequences. In my mind, they are a part of me.
But I think this last move has broken the spell.
Something snapped me out of it.
This week I filled a trash bag with my drawings and doodles.
I let go of the DVD player and the old internet router.
I’ve even thinned my sentimental box by getting rid of reminders of people that I don’t even like anymore.
My struggle continues, but I’m making progress.
And through this process I’ve found comfort in the wisdom of others.
I was inspired by Buddha who believed “the root of suffering is attachment.”
I was motivated by Marie Kondo, who wrote: “Keep only things that speak to your heart.”
But I was most compelled by the words of my lovely wife, who said:
“Most of this is crap… just get rid of it.”
Sincerely,
DJ CrankyPete
Five Song Friday 077
“Love You Funny” - Gymshorts
I’m not sure what you mean by “Love You Funny.” Funny how? Funny like a clown? Because I’m not comfortable in these big shoes and your constant honking of that horn in bed is kind of killing the mood.
“Luscious Lady” - Darondo
A singer who started making sounds in the 1960s, Darondo was one of those under-the-radar artists who missed mainstream success but scored a second chance at fame decades later when the crate-digging hipsters declared him a funk-and-soul demigod and his music caught the attention of a BBC Radio 1 disc jockey and the makers of Breaking Bad.
“Birthday” - MEZERG
MEZERG is an all-caps one-man band who has been called a “pioneer of modern music technology.” He is good friends with the theremin and the piano. He is comfortable in equal parts with electricity and acoustic-ness. He is also French.
“People in the Front Row” - Melanie
I can’t overstate how excited I was to rediscover this song. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard it before, but the opening notes hit me like a pleasantly familiar surprise. It was like finding money in the couch cushions, but instead of coins or cash, I stumbled upon a still warm meatball sandwich, wrapped lovingly in aluminum foil.
“Lights Up”(Myd Remix) - Flight Facilities, Channel Tres, Myd
Look, everything doesn’t have to be so serious all the time. You can just like a song because it BUMPS. You don’t need a deep message or layers of meaning. If you liked “Uptown Funk,” you will probably enjoy this song. If you hated “Uptown Funk,” then don’t bother listening. You should probably just go see Oppenheimer again or go feed your stupid cats.
“The one thing that can solve most of our problems is dancing.” - James Brown