Five Song Friday: Touching Base and Circling Back
This Week: Unplugged Joysticks, Damnation Paperwork, and Goodnight Karate Chops
My apologies for the delayed response, it has been a crazy week.
I wanted to take a moment (during this break in the madness!) to touch base and circle back regarding the proposal in your last 27 emails.
While the opportunity sounds exciting, I’m not sure the timing is right.
This stretch right after the holidays and right before Cinco de Mayo is always complicated. So many balls in the air.
Also, our budget is locked and the word from upstairs is that we’ll be tightening our belts for most of Q1. Leadership is planning a deep dive to determine where we can best add value and they will ping me to sync on next steps.
But right now, bandwidth is pretty low, so we’ve got all hands on deck and boots on the ground.
Our immediate focus is on moving the needle for quick wins.
Also, I have no idea what your company is selling.
Your language is vague and your marketing uses way too many photos of shirtless men riding tandem bicycles.
I assume it’s scheduling software, but it could also be some kind of virility cream? It’s very hard to tell.
In addition, I looked up your personal account on LinkedIn and do not like your face.
Not even a little bit.
I’m sorry but there is just no way I could carry on a Zoom call with a straight face if that is indeed your for real mustache.
Seriously, unless that thing is a twirly, furry face cancer, you need to make it go away.
It’s more aggressively dumb than tiny puffy jackets for beer cans.
I get that it’s 2024 and we no longer judge people based on appearance, but this is different.
You’re an adult human being and adult human beings make decisions.
Salvador Dali OR Magnum P.I., you can’t be both.
Thank you for your time and best of luck with everything.
Please remove me from any future mailings. I will return your mouse pad within the next business day.
FYI: Nobody uses mouse pads anymore.
Sincerely,
DJ CrankyPete
Five Song Friday 097
“Someone Else Is In Control” - The Mystery Lights
Newsflash: the reason it feels like someone else is in control? Because someone else IS in control. You may not be able to SEE the puppet strings or FEEL the hand up inside of you, but believe me… somebody else is driving. And not in that inspirational “I looked back at the sand and there was only one set of footprints” kind of way. Or the adorable, “tiny alien inside the cockpit of my skull,” Men in Black kind of way either. This is just the dark awful truth about how life works. None of our joysticks are plugged in and free will is a fairy tale.
“Quiet Carriage” - Holiday Ghosts
Brooklyn Vegan called the music of UK band Holiday Ghosts, “wonderfully ramshackle.” I’m going to allow it, without comment. First, because it’s succinct and accurate. And secondly, because the last time I went up against Brooklyn Vegan, I almost lost an eye. Fool me once.
“On My Way” - Xylaroo
It’s awfully nice for the ladies of Xylaroo to give Satan a heads up, but I’m not sure the Dark One is waiting by the gates. He probably has all kinds of pathetic sinners to torture and flay and disembowel, not to mention the mountains of damnation paperwork. But I’m sure there is a tiny corner of his coal-black, ice-cold heart that appreciates them letting him know that they are on their way but running late.
“Bad Indian’” - Dead Pioneers
I don’t want to say too much about this track because I find it funny and sad and brutal and honest all at the same time. It’s layered and complex and also simple and brash and loud. It’s got He-Man and slurs and yelling and oh man, maybe I’ve said too much. Pretend you didn’t hear any of that. Clear your mind. Reset your ears. Enjoy.
“Robbing Banks (Doin’ Time)” - The Slew
If you need a soundtrack for rolling a Wells Fargo today, this should do the trick. Just remember the security guy always goes for a cigarette at the top of the hour and don’t hit “PLAY” until you give him that goodnight karate chop and handcuff him to the bike rack. The drum break around 2:05 is a great spot to remind everyone that “Nobody needs to be a hero.” Good luck!
“Oh my God, Karen, you can’t just ask people why they’re white.” - Gretchen Wieners